Nostalgia is a mystifying emotional experience, a profound inclination to lose oneself in reflection, rumination, and sometimes even introspective brooding.
It takes me back to times in the past that I have always held close to my heart, never letting go of those long-gone moments I've committed to memory throughout the years of my childhood and adolescence. Selective memory or something else entirely, I don't need to know; it's unimportant. But they have given me the vital emotional energy to try and live a life devoid of disquieting emotions or thoughts, rather something of the great value of sincere facts to go on loving, adoring, and treasuring for a lifetime.
Often, because of my strong urge to go to the place where I ache to go again and again, I like taking a trip down memory lane to the 1970s, 1980s, and 1990s, bringing up fond remembrances that make my heart sing. I confess I am a nostalgia-prone person. Or better still, nostalgically inclined, easily overcome by nostalgia for beloved old things I miss dearly.
These golden years are especially dear to me, harbouring a special place in my longing heart as they evoke nostalgic memories of a time gone by that I never got over with. Came what may, I persevered through thick and thin, good times and bad, and I will never be able to let go of my special bond with those incredible summers of my life.
So, come hell or high water or caught between a typical rock and a hard place, finding a path forward is well neigh. There will always be a close-knit sense of the good old days, an eternal heartbeat, and a beautiful melody of long ago that fulfils all my days with accustomed pleasure and longing. I've not chosen this path of nostalgia; it just came to me, and that's how I am. The memories of yesteryears serve as fawning inspiration and motivation, an intimate testament to my love of things past and gone long ago, and, shall I say, a continual reminder to face the future.
These formative decades are of great importance to me as they awaken a sense of joy and contentment, so much so that they constitute an essential component of my nostalgic existence—an integral part of my life that I cannot live without while relishing every familiar moment that touches my heart.
Among the most treasured memories in our lives are the fond remembrances of our early childhood friendships. From Poonam's tender moments of closeness to Raju's calm and unwavering friendship, from Ruby's brilliant camaraderie to Sushila's delightful companionship while playing fun games like tikkar billa, langri taang, and eyes-spies, and Meena's sweetly quiet company among us lifelong friends. We lost touch decades ago, but these precious memories have come safely through time as they bind us all, embracing a special place in our hearts.
Nostalgia has moulded my identity and continues gaily to influence my choices and perspectives to the present day. Yes, the music, social identities, and cultural directions of the 1970s, '80s, and '90s have left an indelible mark on me. Reflecting on these decades allows me to bask in the comforting warmth of moments that have defined who I am today and provides a deep sense of comfort and happiness for the beautiful journey I've had thus far.
To a large extent, I consider myself fortunate to be deeply rooted in the yesteryears, as I remain a nostalgically inclined person who feels blessed to possess that, I presume, salubrious subconscious Indian trait still throbbing within my being that loves to mythologize and romanticize through lasting memories and retrospections of the good times that will never come again. This silent brooding, if you will, through this ruminative agency is central to experiencing the ordinary experience of life more contemplatively while looking—with a cautiously optimistic or pessimistic optimist eye—to whatever the future has in its humour.
(To be continued…)
By Arindam Moulick
Article originally published on Medium in Jan. '24.
To read the first part, "In Every Moment of My Life," published in the earlier post, click on the title. The third and final part of the series will be up very soon.