CHAPTER 38 - OMG! The Argument Continues...!

We did great, no matter what!

Aiming at your boss with cold icy vibes has never been Shiv Charan Joey’s idea of aggression yet the point to be noted here is that he knew how to handle a villain in the bad boss’s hide without going kaput while always being in an act of daring-do. That was his specialty if you will. He played along with the Saddam Hussein of Satyam a fun game of ‘Yes-manship’ and found himself to be as snug as a bug in GG’s rug. In this way, he officially became a functional exploit in the awfully vexing world of GG’s unrestrained monopoly!

That is precisely when you figure out how to be committed to conveying your formal concurrence with your boss in clear and succinct expressions, such as: “Yes GG,” “No GG,” “Right GG,” “Absolutely,” “Whatever you say GG,” so on and so forth and thusly get the chance at becoming an embalming patsy to massage his gigantic sense of ego! Why? Only just to have the capacity to keep this megalomaniacal manager in some conjuring sense of artificially-induced humour and it was also compatible with all we folks living under his willful domination.

Be that as it may, Shiv Charan needed to “take care” with the Butcher of Satyam. And he was able to do that well. To get to be in GG’s good books became at once a feasible thing for both him and the smiling Buddha Dilnawaz Khan; otherwise, Arinvan didn’t think that it was actually possible for GG Howdy to roll the dice for yet another round of recruitment drive to take place and get new bakras on board – in the likely event that before long both new entrants threatened to throw in the towel!

The thing to take notice of here is: Shiv Charan and Dilnawaz both had survived GG’s inexhaustible storm of raves and rants, his decrepit exhortation at issuing nonsense fatwas, in the best way they could. Despite GG’s uptight preference for “me-boss, you-worker” relationship ruling over them – all of us rather – like a cut-throat feudal lord in heat, they continued to work for Satyam for a long time, without even getting emotionally distraught. And that’s an achievement in itself.

‘Truck Driver’ Suraj and Sexy Devi too fared well in the department of boss-appeasement. Acting in a way as if they were GG’s two forbidden wives, they could cow down of this bossy Orangutan’s temper to a large extent and that was a saviour for all of us at the roaming division hoping to work peacefully and perhaps a little excitedly!

Arinvan Maliek and Manpreet Singh maintained a homegrown ‘workable ethic’ while working with the irreverent intimidator of Satyam. That’s the way it was; in fact, one could say we somehow managed to take the bull by its horns in a manner as gently as could be prudently possible! Our equation with the man was simple: You are the BOSS, GG! But try as we might, one was never, in a manner of plain speaking, as snug as a bug in his stupid rug.

Either way, we did well figuring out how to get cozy as a bug in GG’s rug with the one and only goal of seeing him reel in the satisfaction of knowing that we all are on the same page and GG needn't blow his fuse! We had to be on the same page with him unless we wanted skin rashes burning all over our bodies! 

On the whole, we did remarkably well dealing with this philistine character who knew no human decorum. Woouff!

(To be continued...)

By Arindam Moulick

Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction. All incidences, places, and characters portrayed in the story are fictional and entirely imaginary. Any resemblance to any person living or dead is purely coincidental. No similarity to any person either living or dead is intended or should be inferred.

CHAPTER 37 - Snug as a Bug in the Rug

The Challenges of Keeping a Job

Out of his natural character, Shiv Charan Joey bubbled with stifling rage but never – probably by a paranoid fear of losing his job with Satyam’s roaming division – could he afford a ‘conflict situation’ with the anal-compulsive habitual intimidator called CHICHCHA and he was not looking for one either.

To be fair, that’s not what the moot point is. The point is that Shiv Charan’s ‘response system’ to the boss’s gross way of working was not illogical for sure. It was, as we all at the roaming division had ideated on n number of times, far more significantly important for GG’s moribund moral rectitude to ‘change’ for the better because the unpleasant job of reporting to him would have been less difficult than it truly was. ‘Change’ was something we always wanted to see in him during all those tense-ridden, vitriolic months we have been professionally indicted to work at his beck and call.

While it was utterly nerve-wracking for all of us to deal with this stubborn man, it was authoritatively, power-hungrily glorious for him!

But Change never ever came on GG. Never. Our kirkiri boss was gone far ahead than our normal conscience-ridden, penitent mindset could bring him back to make him see the good-humoured world of being a nice, God-fearing, and normal person. Gawd! What were we thinking! That was already a lost cause. It was easier said than done. People like GG Howdy don’t change. Period.

Consider this simple point for a quiet moment: Satyam was Shiv Charan’s first major step towards making a good career choice and then, lo and behold, he suddenly finds himself reporting to a boss who is so narcissistic in his way of life that for us dealing with this kind of monstrosity had become a task almost next to impossible to take head-on! However, if you may still want to (rather have to!) then…

• Your sense of well-being will be lost, gone for a toss
• Your natural-born creative urge gets the boot, without you realizing it
• Your level of confidence begins to wane, at times even viciously gnawed at by the bossy fiends you encounter daily at the workplace
• You’ll lose your sleep; your mental peace will be ruptured beyond repair
• You'll get no relief from his daily harangues and hard-hitting insinuations that are bound to make you feel depressed and hopeless
• You’ll be continually pushed to the wall, incapacitated and weakened in your thought processes
• Such a horrifying man was GG Howdy

You may wish to dub Shiv Charan’s newfound situation using whatever word(s) you may want to: ‘Conflict situation’ or a ‘Spat’ or even an all-out ‘Cold War’ with the clueless Chichcha, because, with GG as your reporting manager, it doesn’t at all matter how well you choose to describe your sorry situation because it’s not your fault if you have a bad boss. Besides, Shiv Charan’s situation was everybody’s situation. For instance:

• Dilnawaz Khan's art of tackling GG was hilarious. He showed his well-set frontal teeth as a smiling pacifying tactic that, contrary to his high hopes, had never really worked with GG! Unfortunately, such subtle tact of his couldn’t afford Dilnawaz to get out of GG’s slanderous managerial radar or put his job-losing fears at bay. Poor Dilnawaz!
• Savitha Tandavi’s constant aiming at her tear ducts had barely brought any breather from GG’s continual tirades against her, especially during the Monday morning meetings. Poor Savitha!
• Manpreet Singh’s technique was clear! Never challenge GG. Not worth it. If it had not been for his sense of humour just minding his own business as far as his work was concerned would not have for most occasions saved him from GG’s wrath. However, he did have to face some unutterable music from GG’s dirty little puckering mouth. Poor Manpreet!
• Arinvan Maliek’s sense of judgment was also found ineffectual with GG. His point was simple though: Never try to deal with his pathological ego that burns in some fake power-playing aptitude. Despite all the trouble we continuously have had, it was not worth grappling with GG. Try and live it up to his endless machinations and just do your job. Leave the office at the end of the day alive (in one piece!) and return back the next day to somehow engage with this cruel character in the best way you possibly can. Poor Arinvan!
• Yeah, yeah I know GG’s malicious barbs were always at the ready – to cock a snook at all of us and all that mind-bending subjugation we had lived through was enough to cause Cancer in you! What do you call that? Equanimity. Yes, Equanimity. That lovely word. It was pure Equanimity on our part that saw us through the vitriolic months of our association with this abusive head honcho called GG Howdy.

Still, do you think it makes any difference if you find yourself dancing to your boss’s tunes? It does, always does. Or else be prepared to face the music to lose your job pronto! You can’t even want to go ‘solo’ – that is, paying lesser heed to your boss but generally preferring to do your thing – is like deliberately committing professional hara-kiri that doesn’t go down well with any bossy types, far less GG; for you will be permanently scythed out of his office fiefdom if you covet the latter. But of course, one cannot afford to, can one? When you are a victim of your circumstances, you simply cannot.

An Adage that’s Passé

The boss is always right.
Ever heard of that age-old adage? One cannot possibly get into a conflict situation with one’s supervisor, can one? That’s an aphorism we young guns understood quite well even as we worked energetically for one of Satyam’s top-billed business divisions roaming division’s glory.

Life is short and one cannot afford to make it shorter still dealing with a bad boss like GG, but even if you have to then perhaps you’re better off doing what your boss says; act according to his writ and wit. You may either bear it with a grin or conk out and thank yourself that you may never have to see him again. The choice is totally yours to make. No one is going to make one for you.

Manpreet, Arinvan, Shiv Charan Joey, Dilnawaz, and Sexy Devi, and TD Suraj have all used sound judgments, made choices that sounded good, to deal with this biggest, though unnecessary, the challenge in the form of GG Howdy. The problem was that GG was not just a Difficult Boss but positively a Bad Boss, and that forever had changed the ballgame of life for the worse.

Perhaps, the other side of this bad boss story is that you get to keep your job but continue to get harangued by your boss, and you live to tell a tale or two in another time and in another era as personal...what?...good-for-nothing keepsakes.

Each one of us was as snug as a bug in the rug to do our job and that is what we have done to come out of your 'situation' unscathed!

(To be continued...)

By Arindam Moulick

Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction. All incidences, places, and characters portrayed in the story are fictional and entirely imaginary. Any resemblance to any person living or dead is purely coincidental. No similarity to any person either living or dead is intended or should be inferred.