T-Rex - An Intolerable Cruelty!

Arindam Moulick

Monday Morning Blues –

You are about to read a bad boss story.

A few years ago we had a bad boss. He (we’ll call him T-Rex) was a hot-tempered and pompous HARI-Sadu type - exactly as they show it on the TV ad: “H for Hitler, A for Arrogant, R for Rascal and I for Idiot…". That's right!

At the outset, I should it make clear that besmirching my erstwhile boss (under whom I served for 2½ years) is not my intention; neither do I subscribe to the fashionable ‘throw the boss under the bus’ adage. But giving vent to the pent-up subconscious emotions that I have experienced was a way to come to terms with the fact that I have been dealing with a bad boss and lived through it to write this tale.

He was one of the most tyrannical types I have ever had the misfortune to come across in my life. This goatee, a Walrus look-alike (minus the whiskers), couldn’t care less about any sort of personal problems that we may have. Since he is never the one to be bothered about anything, he knows we are in his den so bash on regardless. But when a problem creeps up, he hurtles towards our cubicle and goes animatedly ballistic at us. The way he saw it, he was doing us a big favour by letting us work for him so better get used to it was his indirect message.

Everybody knew about his fiery temper; from the office boys to the pantry fellas on the 6th floor of our office building. These guys used to quiver like blobs of jelly whenever T-Rex showed up for coffee in the pantry area. The normally sober office attendants feared his gross and cantankerous behaviour. As it happened, soon we began to sense that T-Rex was falling out of favour one by one with all other senior departmental managers of the company. That came as a sort of, affirmation for us: after all, we were not the only ones who have been troubled by him; in fact, there were others too who were equally vindictive towards his contemptuous ways.

Our boss’s case was a typical ‘Gone Case’ (that’s how one of his many nicknames came about - GC, T-Rex, Gargoyle, Dirty Harry, Grumpy, Raptor, Shakaal, etc.) – a person has gone out of control, hopeless and beyond help. He was barely heedless to maintaining good office decorum. In fact, there was hardly any hint of appropriate attitude in him. It seemed that he had “zero tolerance” (his pathetic words!) for good managerial behavior because to him it was such a waste of time - a “managerial wasteland” as he preferred to say. Never has he been a source of inspiration to anyone who worked under him and that explains a lot about his general behaviour at the office. Always ready to rip people apart, often for strange and concocted reasons that hardly demand any attention in the first place.

Needless to say, an undeniable sense of antipathy towards him had always surged through our bodies like an electric current whenever we had to deal with him.

Monday morning meetings were attended by Arpan Monalic, Manpreet Jogi, Dehvi Prachad, and T.D. Suraj Koomar and a delicate maiden by the name Papita InTears. Papita’s usual defense mechanism towards T-Rex’s constant fussing over her work was one of being a teary-eyed and runny-nose type. Apparently, these meetings were called for so that T-Rex gets to flex his control and indulge in his cunning entrapment of making mincemeat of us and simultaneously massage his super-sized ego by doing what he does best - breathe down our necks!

An Egotistical Schmuck –

T-Rex’s manners were far from being cordial, in fact, it was downright rude, and his ‘I-am-running-the-show-here-not-you’ was an unannounced decree that we always had to live up with. If Manpreet or Dehvi or any one of us had any points to make, we scuttled them back into our mouths because T-Rex has ‘better ones’ to pontificate on and regale our group with his prognostications. He lambasted us and fabricated instances of inaccuracies and inconsistencies in our work - one of his gross ways of showing ‘who is boss.’ Of course, we didn’t take kindly enough to his flagrant mongering and wanton disregard for the good work we put in, but what could we do to convince him out of his misplaced judgment?

Frankly, we couldn’t have helped ourselves or get easily away from such dire straits we were in. Perhaps, approaching HR could have helped but we were too nervous to take such a step. We needed the job and so we stayed put, and that’s the very - as we came to know - an undue advantage he grabbed at (like a Raptor) and got to use against all of us poor souls.

Guess people like him don’t hesitate to exploit the damn predicament that newbies like us sometimes have to live through at our workplaces. We cursed our fate for giving us a foul-mouthed boss to deal with on a daily basis. But what could we do to disprove him; even if we did try by properly reasoning out the matters he wouldn’t listen to them. He’d next jump on us with his crude baloney - as if we were being “unapologetic” in spite of the “mistakes” that we’ve “committed”. Often, we ended up looking like scared pups, nodding our heads, owning up knowingly in ‘acceptance’ for the ‘wrongs’ we did not commit in the first place.

Soon, Monday morning meetings began to be a loathsome affair; an unwanted preach-show at best that really stymies you and leaves you not only well-consternated with hapless tension gnawing away the sanity of your mind for the rest of the day but also getting anxiety-prone for the rest of the damn week. Meetings per se are welcome. One can set goals or exchange ideas that boost team-building activity and all that jazz, but thanks to this lone oddity of a boss who brought his obnoxious conduct to the table managing only to upset everyone present in the room. Our dam of patience was surely overflowing; one more prick and it would have burst! It was becoming increasingly difficult to work with such an egotistical, dictatorial, terror-'Laden’ schmuck.

No job is worth our self-esteem, happiness, or health and so I for one had almost made up my mind to relinquish my job, but, with the help of my well-intentioned colleagues, I’d persevered to keep my exasperation in check. One does know that a boss should be a mentor, a friend, a philosopher, or a guide, but T-Rex was never to be one. It’s a pitiable thing really that the man had not a good word for anyone ever and he remained just like that all throughout his long tenure – an intolerable kind who would squeeze blood from a stone!

Good Riddance! –

One fine day, when there was news that T-Rex has put in papers - oh! at last - our joy knew no bounds. It was hardly surprising that he was quitting (or was he dismissed?), considering his already atrocious reputation at the office. This called for a secret celebration for us; we had a great bash.

Dehvi and T.D. Suraj pledged to break 101 coconuts and light 101 incense sticks, respectively – one lit incense stick for every coconut broken - in a nearby temple. Papita unveiling her ever-ready teardrops of joy suggested strawberry-flavoured pastries. I vowed to treat us all with countless roly-poly rossogollas. Manpreet swore wholeheartedly and then began making calls to order a couple of deep-crust, deep-pan, not to forget unlimited toppings, Domino’s Pizzas!

All was not well, but it ended well. The best part was: that we didn’t have to quit our jobs to escape from such a tormenter like him. T-Rex was gone for good, and he was never seen ever after. (I wonder if he has changed at all as a person, or is he still somewhere out there terrorizing his new staff!). We are sure glad to be done with him.

If there is a vacant job position for this sicky, ballistic, psycho then it should be one (or more in combo) from the following opportunities handed out to him:

a Roadkill Collector

a Bat Cave Scavenger

a Poo Pot Maker

a Sewer Inspector

a Bug Detective

a Septic Tank Technician

a Monkey Caretaker

or

an Animal Barber

Any of the aforementioned options handed out to the boss will keep him from going totally bonkers, you know what I mean, don't you?

By Arindam Moulick

- Written between Sept.-Oct. 2011

- This essay has also been published on ezinearticles.com. Following is the web link:
http://ezinearticles.com/?T-Rex---An-Intolerable-Cruelty!&id=8735105

Disclaimer:

The views expressed here are written in jest! I don’t subscribe to any obscene, unlawful, defamatory, libellous, hateful, or otherwise objectionable writing; therefore, the article is written just for arts’ sake - L'art pour l'art (French, translated as "art for art's sake"). Here’s hoping that it conforms to some kind of literary merit as I originally had intended it to when I started out writing it.